There were vast improvements from my first draft to my final draft for the second project in this class. I made local and global revisions during my revision process that helped improve my essay’s flow and overall structure. I think what helped me strengthen the revision process for the second project was the peer review and meeting with our writing fellow. My peers and our writing fellow Anjana gave me some great feedback and advice that helped me with my revision process. For this project, I started with a word dump of all the important information I wanted to include in my essay in rough paragraph form. From there I went paragraph by paragraph rereading and editing. From my first draft to my last, focused on making sure my writing was clear and concise. For example, in my introduction paragraph for the first draft when introducing Haidt’s piece I wrote, “In his essay, Haidt expresses the need to completely eliminate phones from schools because of their hindrance to learning and forming connections with classmates.” After meeting with the writing fellow she informed me that the way I worded this sentence portrays an idea that Haidt did not portray in his article. From there I made a change to this sentence to incorporate Haidt’s ideas correctly. In my final draft I wrote, “In his essay, Haidt expresses a solution to the problem of phones and digital technology interrupting learning. He emphasizes the need to eliminate phones from schools because of their hindrance to learning and forming connections with classmates.” In my final draft, I focused on introducing Haidt’s point of view as a solution to the epidemic of phone usage in schools rather than just the need to completely eliminate them. Throughout my revision process, I focused on the structure of my paragraphs, making sure that they flowed. At the end of my first body paragraph in my first draft, I had a few sentences depicting my point of view on phubbing because I had discussed that point earlier in the paragraph. However, in my final draft, I decided to move that blurb up in my paragraph where I was specifically talking about phubbing and had a quote about it from Haidt. Then at the end of the paragraph, I wrapped it up with a more conclusive ending discussing both ideas from Haidt and Turkle and adding my perspective to it. I think this ending better suits the paragraph and helps it flow better. I think that this project shows my development in my revision process because before this I had never really done much revising of my work. I usually just turned in my first draft with very little editing done. However, after listening to my classmates revising techniques I tried a few different ones before settling on going paragraph by paragraph and editing each one separately. I think this strategy has helped me and I will continue doing it for all my writing assignments.